Hello all~
It's been a while, I know, but I've got good reason's for not updating in a while. Life has been...... stressful? Well, yes and just plain busy. I suppose I should start at the beginning of it all. Be prepared for an earfuck. xD

Well, to start off: I am now a proud Sophmore at my school and just as I did last year, I love making fun of the idiot Freshmen at my school. Now, before you get all up in my face about how "That's not nice." hear me out. I only make fun of the Freshmen that deserve it. So, for the kids who try to act like they run the school or are just plain annoying, I love to make fun of them. Honestly, it's the one's who are considerate and respect or at the very least try to befriend upperclassman are the ones I can tolerate. Seriously, do NOT try to fight with a Senior. You'll just get your ass kicked. An example: On Monday, seeing as it's spirit week, I dressed in pjs and brought a little fox stuffed animal to school. Now, currently I am in Spanish I because I took Latin I last year. My class is a majority of freshman, so I'm surrounded by them. One particular Freshman behind me decided to threaten me and then say that he was going to rip my fox's head off and shove explosives in it. When I told him if he said it again, I'd slap him, he said I didn't have the guts to do it. So, guess what I did. xD Anyway, other than that: I am no longer the Vice President of the Anime Club at my school. Really, the club can work in theory and maybe at other schools, but with all the drama that happens in out group, it will never truly work. A few weeks after we elected people, my president wanted to add two representatives to help get more people to come to anime club after our HUGE drop in numbers. I agreed and she appointed them. As soon as that decision was made public, I lost all contact with her. She ignored me every time I tried to talk her at school, I was never called about plan and when I texted her, I never got a text back. So, I had no way of knowing what was going on at the club until the day of the club. After about two months of this, I gave up. really, I had no ride home from school any way, I had to rely on other people. So with that, and the constant failure to inform me of what was going on, I decided it would be better to quit. Okay, so I didn't exactly quit. I just stopped going, but essentially, I resigned.  Honestly, it doesn't really matter to me. I'm happy either way. I mean, I have my friends to cosplay with still, so it's ok. :3

Something else fun is that I should be going to Ohayocon this year. I'm still working things out with my mom and friends, but I should be able to go. I'm super excited! It'll be my first con and I'll be with all my friends. Sadly, I don't have very many coplays to bring with me, but I will have what I do have. That means that I will be Sebastian for Kuroshitsuj, Kanda from D. Gray-Man, a street cosplay of Hikaru Hitachin from OHSHC and my newest addition, Nyan Cat. :3 So far my favorite costume yet, even though it does need a good deal of work. I used what I had, so.... yeah. The shirt, being the ONLY pink shirt I have, is camo.... so that needs to be fixed, my tights could be a bit darker when it comes to the colors..... I think they're a little pale in my opinion but I have to deal with what I have and the rainbow streamers have a lot of work. They were made from shirts I never wear, so you see the problem there? Most of them are made of stretchy materials, so my sewing machine kept jamming on me and not to mention I didn't have any of the color thread, so I had to use black thread on all of it. Other than that, I didn't have any yellow material, so there's lots of improvement to be done.

Now, to the most important stuff.
A lot has happened in the last few months. I'm sad to say that my Sora and I are no longer together. I don;t know how it happened.... but you know.... I guess everyone has to grow up eventually. About 6 months ago.... wow... has it really been that long? Anyway, about six months ago I was poking around on DA when I saw a journal from Sora about spending te night with her "girlfriend." I, being the naive little thing that I was, thought it meant a girl who is a friend....... then I decided to poke around her cosplay partner's DA..... well... I read a journal about how she and her girlfriend had hit the six month marker and were now engaged...... She used the name "Neroas", which coincidentally... is Sora's name backwards. I will admit.... I cried... a lot.... She hadn't breathed a word to me about wanting to break up.... not to mention or official/unofficial engagement..... No, I'm not mad. It still hurts, yes, but I wont be the jealous, hateful ex. Actually, I'm happy she was able to find someone.... From what I've heard through journals, they work well together as a couple. I honestly hope that they can live a happy and wonderful life together. Besides, it's better than dating me, I think anyway.

Let me explain that thought. When we got together, I was still trying to grow up and figure out who I was. I had just realized that I was bisexual, and had never really had a good relationship to start with. Sora was my first, and longest relationship to date. She helped me figure out who I was. I wouldn't be the person I am today had I not met her. She has been and always will be my best friend, even if we part ways and never speak. That connection will still be there. I loved her very much and I am proud to say that she was my girlfriend.

Sora, If you do happen to read this, I just want to say: I love you. I always have and not even this can change that. Like I've said, I'm happy you and Max are together. You make a cute couple. You and Max were my role models in the time that we had together. Max was my cosplay role model and had a little bit of influence in my personal life too, but you Sora, you were my shining star. I wanted to be just like you and I couldn't believe it when you asked me if I wanted to date you. You made me happier than I could ever be and I'll never forget that. The two years you were my girlfriend..... I can't forget it. It was far too important to me. So, maybe we weren't soul mates, but we were and hopefully still are best friends. There really is only one thing and one thing only I can say to you while we're apart. If I could see you again, I'd like to talk, but until then: "Don't ever forget: wherever you go, I'm always with you."

Max, like I said, I wont be a bitch about this. You really are and will be the best girlfriend/fiance/lover for her. You two are perfect. I hope you find what you're looking for and more. For you, I just say: "Take care of her." and thank you for making her happy. It means a lot to me that she can finally find someone who will be the best for her.

Yes, I have done a lot of growing up in the past two and a half years since I moved away. I've changed. I'm not that innocent little girl that blushed at the mear mention of yaoi. I probably still have a lot more growing to do, but for now, this is good. I like where I am in life. I am hopefully on my way to being an actress or on Broadway. I am in a cosplay group and I have amazing friends. Even better, I am proud to say that I do have a girlfriend and we've been together for five months since last Friday. She's the most important thing in my life now. I love her so much. She's the one thing that makes my day better by just being by my side. True, she still has a ways to go if she were to be an anime fan, but no one says that she has to be one. She is who she is and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Again, I have to say: Thank you Sora. For everything. If not for you, I would have never been able to do a lot of things I can today. No matter how much time passes until I can see you again, or even if I never see you again, you will always be one of the most important people in my life.

Forever yours
-Sebby